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November 2, 2004
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What little breath lingered
Now gone
What little light peering through
Vanquished by shadow
All it wanted
To live
To feel
No more
Surrounded by earth
In cold and darkness
Suddenly silenced
Cruelly and unwillingly abducted
The little heart pounding
Then crying in anguish
The little heart fading
Then overcome by stillness
Buried in the sand
The first snow covers the grave
Cold winters night
The small heart awakens
The bitter wind blows
Winding up a tiny music box
The child sings from beneath
The haunting moon in full splendor
It hears the cries in the night
And no angel climbs down
Only the rain cries down on the grave…
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:iconizy69:
I really love the gloomy feel of this poem.
It's sad in a sort of pitiful way.
Really good work, sorry my comment sucks i'm tired.
Izy
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:icontraptbetweendreams:
haha no prob...thanx for the tree! :P yes it is gloomy..but ah well..i'm no good with happy sappy poems
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:icontraptbetweendreams:
i was going for something like..the words spoken from the tree..like it was the narrator? i dno...owell...yeah...which reminds me i need more jellybeans
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:iconyellowdude:
arg..press reply because i never know (and nobody else knows) when you are talking back to them. then they get all sad because it looks like you never reply to their comments :P

fine with your poem then :) no complaints. as for jellybeans..they were expensive... i spent 8$ for jellybeans for both u and mandah combined.... about 4$ a pound O.o
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:iconyellowdude:
jelly park!!!! :D *ahem*

anyway... hmm... i like the last line too... rain.. cry... sympathy for the forgotten.. blah... :(

uhm... i like the abstract and abruptness of it... not your usual style (or that i've seen) but it's nice :) condensed emo... sounds like something traumatic that happened in your life? :? ... :hug:

yeah.. as far as the picture goes... tho... i think you could have placed the text in a nicer place ;)

good job mb... good job. :)
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:icontraptbetweendreams:
glad you liked it
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:iconhatred-lies:
~hatred-lies Nov 2, 2004  Hobbyist Writer
wow, this is awesome, good job!:) i esp like the last line "only the rain cries down on the grave", it's really.. lol i dunno the word, expressive maybe.
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